My sentiments about CGI too

I have never been a fan of CGI since they started using it, replacing actual models. However, the technology has come a long way. Now I think its ok to use with things like space scenes and spacecraft. However I am dead set against using it for life models. Meaning living things or things that are of a humanoid or animal nature. I also hate the fact that things like robots are all CGI now. It has such a fake look, especially when in a scene with actual human actors, and the movements are totally unnatural looking. Bring back real actors and costumes.

smoking is bad for you

Two funny things overheard and seen during my lunch break.

1- While right outside my office waiting to cross the street, I overhear this construction worker guy say to his buddies, "I'm so glad I quit smoking". Way cool. Even sexy I might say.

2- Seconds later, while still waiting to cross the street, this short woman next to me is struggling to light her cigarette while holding her lighter and her aluminum walking cane in the same hand with all finger nails clacking which were all about 4 inches long and all painted in the tackiest pink and purple motif with little flowers.  Hysterical and sick. What some people will do for a smoke.

Jawbone, I think I love you

I actually can't stand those Bluetooth headsets. I've tried 'em and I find them annoying. Besides I'm not a big phone talker. But this Jawbone brand of Bluetooth headset has the best advertising...

Even heros hit bottom

I'm not sure why I'm writing about this very sad story. But I guess I had one fleeting interaction with this man many years ago. And now reading about his story in New York magazine (Another AIDS Casualty, 4/7/08) has made me feel so sad. I hadn't even known about his heroic deep involvement in AIDS care and research until I read the article.

My brief interaction with Dr. Gabriel Torres was during a visit to CHP (Community Health Project) at the Gay & Lesbian Services Center in NYC. This was sometime between 1993-95, I think. I didn't have health insurance at the time and I was suffering from a serious cold/flu or some skin rash thing... whatever. It was a long time ago and I don't even remember what it was. Well CHP had a rotation of volunteer doctors who would see walk-in patients. It was just by chance that I needed care and Dr. Torres was on rotation. I felt so sick but as soon as he walked in the little exam room, I felt an overwhelming warmness. It may just have been his very handsome looks (see pic to right) or something else. I dunno. I just remember looking into his striking deep brown eyes and just wanting to melt. I was mesmerized. The visit lasted less than 10 minutes and out I walked with an antibiotic prescription. I've never seen Dr. Torres again until probably 10 or so years later.

Fast forward, circa 2004-2007. Robopapi and I still like to indulge and go out to big parties like Alegria every now and then. This is where I've seen Gabriel Torres quite a few times over the past 5 years. The first time I saw him, I didn't recognize him. It was only because Robopapi knew of him through GMHC medical circles and pointed him out to me once. He's still quite a looker of a man. Of course I recognized the name, but not that face. This man I see now looked ravaged. It took me a few minutes to make the connection that this was indeed the Gabriel Torres, the handsome Dr. Torres who I saw all those years ago. I was shocked that 10 years could change a man so much. But I guess putting 1 and 1 together, drug use seemed to be the obvious answer. I didn't really judge him about that since we were there to have a good time and so was he of course. I also didn't know him personally, so what could I presume. I knew nothing about him except that he was a doctor and he liked to party hard apparently.

After reading the New York magazine article I could never pretend to know what that man has gone through emotionally, psychologically, and humanly. He must've seen hundreds if not thousands of patients and friends, both live and die during those early years of AIDS and I'm sure well into the epidemic.

But his story still leaves me with such sadness. And makes me realize once again, that those who seem to have it all are just as fallible, fragile, and mortal as the rest of us, with one exception. They have much further to fall. I'm left with such sympathy for this man as I read he is now being held in the Tombs down at the court houses. This is nowhere anyone one would want to be, it's Hell. And I'm left with the senseless loss of how a man's life spirals out of control, losing his dogs, his home, his practice, everything.

I can only wish him the ability to save himself and the strength to crawl out of this gaping black hole he has fallen into.

Kentucky Fried Grandma

I gleamed this little blurb out of INSTINCT magazine from a volunteer at the Lexington, Kentucky GLSO/Pride Center. I found it so heartening, thought I'd share.

What's your favorite Pride Center experience?

"One of our Insight members shared a story with us. He's fifty-something now, but when he was eight, his grandmother told him, "You're not like other little boys, but there are other little boys like you. When you get older, you'll meet boys like you, and one of them will make you very happy." This story of family acceptance from so long ago encourages me to help other gay men learn to accept their uniqueness and to seek out friends who fee likewise.